Cafe Preggers

I broke a record last night - SIX middle of the night bathroom breaks! By number three I decided this must be practice for "super fussy baby night."

And for all you moms and moms-to-be out there - having now experienced each of these menus, they gave me a good laugh!

First Trimester Menu

Appetizer
Tums Compote

Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltine, lightly seasoned with Saltines

Beverage
Ginger Ale ( IV drip available upon request)

Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

Second Trimester Menu

Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy

Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smother in pork chops, served iwth BBQ ribs and garnished iwth cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)

Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream

Dessert
9x16 pan of double-fudge brownies

Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)

Appetizer
Three bits of tossed salad

Entree
Two bites of lasagna

Beverage
None-so you'll have room for dessert

Dessert
A Tic Tac