And for all you moms and moms-to-be out there - having now experienced each of these menus, they gave me a good laugh!
First Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Tums Compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltine, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger Ale ( IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smother in pork chops, served iwth BBQ ribs and garnished iwth cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9x16 pan of double-fudge brownies
Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bits of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None-so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac
Appetizer
Tums Compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltine, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger Ale ( IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smother in pork chops, served iwth BBQ ribs and garnished iwth cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9x16 pan of double-fudge brownies
Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bits of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None-so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac

